Realm Productions
Creation Date: 1995
Last Fantasy
Gunshot Wound Award!

Hello class, and welcome to How not to make a successful game 101. Today we've got a guest speaker, "The Last Fantasy 3".  What? Where is it? It's standing right in front of the black boar-- oh, ok, fair enough. It does have a lot of black on the screen at any time. And it's graphics *DO* look a lot like someone was scribbling on a blackboard. That's alright. Remember, children, that we're not here to judge this game, we're here to learn from it. After we're done learning, then we can judge it. We can also ridicule it and steal it's shorts.

What? You're still here, The Last Fantasy 3? Sorry about that, you never make a peep. I had forgotten you were here. Anyway, let's move on to the gameplay. Oops, running low on health. I guess I'll have to
press down <skip a turn> what the... <skip a turn> This shouldn't happen! <skip a turn> Oh, I see. The numlock was turned off! Silly me! Well, I guess I'll just let myself die... I'll just press space and... What? I won the battle? Well, OK. And my health is refilled every battle? That's harsh. Let's see...oh, that's nice, some exposition. I got a sword...more exposition....more exposition...Oh! See class, here we get to choose whether or not to speak with this guy. I'll just hit space to say yes, and...oh, bandits! I guess random encounters work differently in this game. I'll just hit space a few times...Hey! I made it to the lost city! That was almost too easy. I wonder if they're hiding something from me..OH NO! A battle! I'll just hit space...Ok, he's dead and I'm back at full health...

Well, at least there's multiple characters. I mean, with unique skills and abilities, that's GOT to put some fun into the game! Wha....oh. How dissapointing. I still just have to hit space to win....And the graphics still suck.....and there's no sound to speak of. And everything moves too fast.

Thank you, "Tha Last Fantasy 3" for coming in. No, we won't need you next week. No, you can't sign up for the class. Listen -- just leave before I get security to make you leave.

--SJ Zero shouldn't be so hard on this game. Nietzsche was no hell either.


  Graphics: Don't get me started on the graphics. They were spooky AND horrible at the same time! Spoorrible!
  Sound: There wasn't any. That sucked.
  Gameplay: You mean hitting the button and hoping you don't die? I guess that was fun. That is, if you consider throwing yourself off of cliffs onto sharp pointy rocks fun..