Jocke the Beast
Dark Woods 
Gunshot Wound Award!

I still can't freakin' believe it. I've played a lot of Jocke the Beasts games, and this one is freakin' crazy. It's actually fun and doesn't make me want to kill people. I'm freakin' terrified.

The game's just this text based puzzle game where you need to collect stuff and kill stuff on a turn based field with obstacles and enemies. It's nice and simple, and it's really a fun diversion. It scares the crap out of me. I keep expecting it to be like those things on the internet where it's all calm and peaceful, then a witch or a demon jumps at you screaming!

Hasn't happened yet though, and I finished it. Freaking addictive gameplay. Makes me wonder if that guy even knows what he's doing, teasing us like that! I mean, what if massacre had the strategy of this? What if Mirkwood did? I'd be one happy alien head!

Here's where I'd talk about the graphics and sound, but there really aren't any. It's just an ASCII text screen.

Anyway, if you don't really flip over great graphics, take this little game for a spin. Just let me know if any demons jump out.

There's not much to say. It's a freakin' game. I like it. It's text. Jocke the Beast made it. Any questions?

--Alien Jack Nicholson isn't so simple that collectin' stuff and killin' stuff rouses him.


  Graphics: ASCII. That's just like not having any. That sucked, but not as much as rich graphics. I mean, at least you expect a text game not to be real-time or anything.
  Sound: There wasn't any. That sucked.
  Gameplay: The scariest thing is it's a fun little game where you try to collect stuff and kill stuff. That's right, it's FUN, and it's not homocidal. I'd freakin' wet myself if I wasn't an inanimate object without a digestive system.