QB Accelerator Reviews
  Great graphics, all we need now is a game!
    Pong Worz Developer:Lachie D.(KENTAURI)


QBXL Extra
This seems familiar...
Just like in this game, in life, sometimes something wants to succeed so badly, it shuts everything else out. This would be a tragedy if it wasn't so damned fun to watch. In spite of how terrible it sounds, it's like a cat chasing it's tail, and nearly impossible to resist. Here are some examples.

The United States
One day, an American asked "Why do people hate us?". In response, they bombed a couple countries, hoping it would make people like them again.


Yeah, you don't know him personally, but you met him in high school. The overweight kid who "hangs" with his parents and still thinks the NES is the coolest toy on the block. He may or may not have plans to take over the world using a tractor.

Mike from All in the Family
(AKA Meathead)
Hey Arch, you're so rascist! Look at me! I'm doing backflips! I'm talking crazy liberal-talk! Blacks should be able to use the tanning booths too, Arch! You're so prejudiced, thinking that the guy with a knife that was telling you to give him your wallet was a criminal!

Yeah, it does a body good, but it doesn't do a body THAT good. Every day the ads get more bold, and I'm waiting for any day now where they have a "Milk:The other other other herbal viagra" ad. Just watch; Milk'll turn out to be the next tobacco.
Sometimes a game wants to succeed so badly, it shuts everything else out and tries to be the next big thing on pure raw charisma. Those games usually fail. Like a vacuum cleaner under a chair, these games are destined to suck ass. Usually, these games, taken at face value, are just fine, with no visible problems from the getgo -- Their graphics range from decent to great, their concepts seem  a little "borrowed", but are solid, and sometimes they even have great sound. The problem doesn't lie there. It lies in the gameplay itself. Pong Worz suffers from this very problem. Lots of charisma. Lots of heart. Great graphics...but problems with the gameplay that are obvious from the start.

When you first play Pong Worz, you'll find it harder than fighting a cyberdemon with a plastic spork for the first hour. Why? Because you're playing by their rules. After the first hour, you'll suddenly start winning every match. Why? Did you master the clunky, slow to respond controls? Did you find the perfect strategy for using the tacked on weapons? No. In fact, you'll stop using the weapons altogether. The biggest problem with Pong Worz, even worse than the controls, is that it's gimmick is poorly designed. To begin with, you'll require master strategy just to keep the thing loaded. The ammo crates the game eventually supplies you with can only be picked up by shooting them. This means that if you use up your ammo, you're out of luck for the rest of the round. To make matters worse, the slow controls mean that it's not possible to nimbly evade enemy bullets and respond with a barrage of your own. In fact, it's best to avoid the enemy altogether until he runs our of ammo, and just play regular pong. In a game whose claim to fame is paddle-to-paddle combat, it is the deadliest sin of all to have a gimmick that doesn't make the game easier.

  The game was completely silent through the couple hours I spent playing it, which was dissapointing, but the graphics were very professional with good shading and enough variance to keep my eyes interested. Both paddles you can control are interesting to look at, as do the various playing fields you play on.

The graphics are pretty good, even if the gameplay is lacking!
The graphics are fantastic, even if the gameplay IS lacking somewhat.

Ultimately however, nothing can save this game from it's own gameplay. While some of the problems with the gameplay are in fact a result of some interesting coding, it doesn't save it from the damning effect it has on the gameplay. The worst part is that with a little bit of playtesting and a few minute alterations, this game could be a lot of fun to play. As it sits, however,  it's unfortunately just a stale tech demo whose concepts don't lend itself to the game which was being made.

--SJ Zero needs to make a DOOM mod that changes the fist into a spork!


  Graphics: The graphics are excellent -- probably the one thing that saves this game from an even lower score. They look good, they look original, and they look interesting. Score
  Sound: Not a peep. Good thing this score isn't cumulative, eh?. 4
  Gameplay: A real letdown; promises of Mortal Pongbat are cut short by a clunky inertial movement system and a  worse than useless weapons system.
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