QB Accelerator Reviews
Jill the Goddess

QBXL Extra
When nipples attack!
QB is truly the last bastion of pornographic games. Here we pay tribute to all the he games that make "little SJ" stand up and take notice.

Jill the Goddess

A nipple hre, a nipple there, but they're some of those nipples belong to GODS and GREEN STATUES. I'm not sure if I'm allowed to enjoy these nipples as a result. One of the low points of QB nudity. Unless you like green nipples.

Sud Skins

A traditional game o' booty. Sure, it's no Japanese Sexual tamogatchi, but it's charming in it's own way. There's just something about having to work so hard for three or four badly pixellated images that makes it all worthwhile.

Johnny Abbotts Adventures

Doesn't the title of this game make it sound like he should be racing boats with someone named "Dr. Strangio"? For that alone, this is the best game of the lot.

That's all I can think of off the top of my head, but I'm sure there are others. Look around. Private Richard will thank you!
There is a limit for all of us. Some won't eat broccaly, some don't like homework, some won't leave the house for fear that a horde of communists will declare that the workers own the means of production. Myself, my limit is Green statues of naked chicks. CallThe land of the naked green statues! me crazy, but the whole idea of nudity just doesn't include green. This game does though. In fact, it includes a whole lot of implied nudity -- transparant shirts, "is she wearing pants or not" pands, all the great things you'd expect from a game set in a jungle. Luckily for us, Na_th_an is a decent artist, so at the very least we've got some reaosnably good looking naked chicks, which definitely aren't men -- because as we all know, most artists in QB can't draw, and we'd have more than a couple "THOR THE CURIOUSLY MASCULINE MOSTLY NUDE WARRIOR PRINCESS" if anyone else had done this. Thank god. I don't think my heart could have taken it.

Nudity aside, this game suffers primarily from two problems which keep it from being a nice, fun, if simplistic platform shooter. The first is the unrealistic jumping physics, which make the countless jumping puzzles more difficult than they have to be, and the second is the optionless combat -- you press the fire button. I don't think you can crouch, and jumping only opens you up for attack, so to defeat your enemies, you simply press the fire button and hope the enemy will keep flying into your fireball. With a few altered variables and a dozen lines of code, I honestly thing this games mechanics could be improved tenfold, and I honestly hope Na_th_an decides to take a second look at doing so.

Unfortuanately, I haven't run the game under anything but a fresh unstall of Windows 2000, so I can't comment on the sound, but apparantly it has some. Go figure.

Even with it's flaws, in the end Jill the Goddess is a relatively fun game, despite a couple irritating jumping puzzles. It also has decent art and naked chicks. If you're going to download a freeware platform game, you might as well make it this one.

--SJ Zero has a green nipple fetish


  Graphics: Nudity. Need I say more?
  Sound: There wasn't any. That sucked. It was my fault though, so what are you going to do?
  Gameplay: A couple quirks keep a fundamentally nice design from achieving greatness.
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