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| This month in SJ Zeros life |
| I just spent hours on end working on various parts of
QBXL, but in the off time, I worked on Quest for a King, my RPG opus,
finished
Starlancer(a most excellent game if you don't want to have to think
about
who you're killing!), and went shopping for equipment for his home
studio/audio
lab. I didn't even drink. Who can afford to drink when you're paying 50
dollars
for audio equipment?! |
I'm watching a thing about women in
video
games -- these people have NO SENSE OF HUMOR WHATSOEVER!!! For
christs
sake, they have footage of Duke nukem (a...what, 7, 8 year old game?)
as
the proof that the evil game developers are portraying women as a bunch
of
pixellated strippers and whores... For christ sake, these people need
to
get a sense of humor!!! It's friggin' Duke Nukem 3D! Anyone who takes
that
game even remotely seriously needs to get out of their little fantasy
world,
and if they want to see decent females in games, they should stop
looking
at chun-li lookalikes and FPS trailer trash. Seriously. It's a
good
thing there aren't any people looking at the male stereotypes in video
games,
we'd have a bunch of nanny-state loving commies telling us that boys
all
want to grow up like Duke Nukem or Serious Sam and that we game
developers
have some sort of moral responsibility to make sure these tit-sucking
sissy
boys don't try to grow a pair of balls. I'll tell you what; we need
just
one country where everything will be so sanitized that the adult
population
can't even have sex without a stork present. This'll be a world where
it's
illegal for children to swear in some areas. A place where
self-declared
experts bitch and moan all day long about how the world isn't nearly
sanitized
enough for the children, and we should censor the fact that civilized
countries
are, right now, sending kids off to fucking die in wars half way across
the
world whose only relevance to the nation these kids are dying for is an
oversized
oil slick and the fact that the president has a vendetta against the
leader
of that country for some reason. It'll be a country where you can sue a
person
for not shovelling his driveway or for giving you a coffee that was 30
degrees
too hot and you burn your wittwe toungue. It'll be a country where the
first
question asked when a couple insane kids decide to go on a killing
rampage
and shoot up 30 of their classmates will be "which famous person can we
conveniently
pin the blame on?". All the sane people will live unhappily ever after
in
this hate and pain filled world we call reality. Where your own
psychological
problems are your own problem and your own fault.
Welcome.
Honestly, there have been some great female characters in games, and
some
of them weren't even in the "Gratuitous T&A" department, but they
weren't
in first person shooters and fighting games, because (SHOCK!!!) the
characters
in those types of game usually follow a pretty strict pattern(both in
the
male and female department). Want to know some of the greatest female
characters
ever? How about Lucca from Chronotrigger? Terra and Celes from Final
Fantasy
3? Rydia from FF2(because Rosa is just a weakling!)? Rose in Legend of
Dragoon?
Kid from Chrono Cross? All these women are unique, non "gratuitous
T&A"
stereotypes, and and worlds apart from the Dead or Alive crew arousing
so
many pundits ire. These aren't the only examples either! The
whole
genre, whose life blood is the story the games tell and the characters
the
games try to portray, is filled with interesting women. Even starlancer
had
the Squadron Commander, who was at the very least a strong woman.
So here's my message to pundits, critics, lobbyists, and "experts"
everywhere:
Stop bitching about the creative musings of testosterone drenched game
developers.
There are plenty of women in the games world. Stop looking at the ones
you
don't like -- rest assured, there are bimbos in real life as well. And
they'll
be right here, playing beach volleyball.
-SJ Zero can't
believe
he just wrote a whole column on this crap!
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