I was listening to some preacher last sunday, He
off in la-la land talking about fairy tales or something, and he said
something that I'll never forget. "The son of god is our whipping
Now THAT'S religion. Finally a preacher with sense. All these people
saying things like "oh, don't say the lords name in vain" can shove it
where the sun don't shine, because I like this guy. He's absolutely
right too. For christs' sake, we use his damn name as a curse, he gets
stuck in every cameo from South Park to Tim Hortons to some rednecks
scrambled eggs, This guy is right, goddamn it, and I've gotta tell you,
I want my cut. Here I've been running around like a chump, when I could
have been getting Jesus to do my dirty work. I'd say "Hey Jesus, finish
this article!", and he'd do it, because he wouldn't want me to whip him
again. Then when I wanted to go for a stroll in the park, I'd just say
"jesus, get the little red wagon and put a pillow down. I want to go
for a walk", and he'd run around getting things ready, because
otherwise I'd bite his ass off. I could probably get some divine
favours too. I'd say "Dude, get your dad to make us some eggs!", and
he'd do it, because otherwise I'd let him meet Jocke the Beast, then
we'd have some pretty good eggs. Yep, the son of God as my whipping
boy. That would change things. The world would be a better place.
Alien Jack Nicholson
Jack Nicholson is going directly to hell. Do not pass go, do not
collect 200 dollars. So is his typist, SJ Zero, for allowing this crazy
rant to go on for as long as it did. Oh well. Good times...
Another thing I saw this week is a
huge front-page headline. In huge letters on the main page. "Murder
victim not tough guy". Well, I gotta tell you, I'd have to agree. I'd
willing to bet money that he was getting hurt all the time. Small
children would be taking him down in fistfights. Freinds would send him
to the hospital all the time 'cause they pat him on the back too hard,
that's the way it goes. You're either a tough guy or you wuss out and
get murdered. Wussy.
Back to what I was doing before I
started writing -- HEEEEEERE'S JOHNNY! I'M MIKE WALLACE AND THIS IS 60
MINUTES! WHEEL! OF! FORTUNE! JEOPARDY! HERE'S YOUR HOST, ALEX TREBEC!
-Alien Jack Nicholson Sees
things in a different way from other inanimate objects. We think it's
the old lady change. He thinks it's the revolution..