|QB VS. Everyone else!||Face
QB programmers have
fought the world for over a decade now. Against state of the art
processors, against programmers with real programming languages and
compilers, against Microsoft and Microsoft Windows, There's even been a
battle or two against BATCH PROGRAMMERS. To say that the QB programmers
are against the tide of public opinion would be an understatement.
Today, SJ Zero and Frankie argue the merits of QB vs...well, just about
anything else ever created anywhere. SJ Zero will be arguing in blunt bold, while Frankie uses classic italics.
I'd rather our sound effects being like
that than PROGRAMMING IN IT being like that! Compile the program. You
get an error message. Where could it be? The program? The logic? The
libraries? Does god not like you today? Is it 'that time of the month'?
No, with QB, an error message is an error message. "Hey dumbass! You
forgot to close your bracket on line X!". We need more programming
languages like that. We need more QuickBasic. What we don't need is
another PMSin' programming language. 'If you don't know what you did
wrong, I'm not going to tell you'.
Pfft. Error messages my arse. Besides, REAL programmers don't need silly nancy-boy error messages. Anyway, if QB is supposedly SO good at flagging errors, why does it not recognise the most fatal error of them all: that QB is so DEAD, so CRAP, so SHITTY and so OBSOLETE that it attracts whiny little shits who need hand-holding while programming their crappy RPGs that are pathetically bad (hell, even if one was to write an RPG for Babbage's Analytical Engine it'd be superior in every respect to a QB one; not least because of the fact that it wouldn't have sprites so indescribably awful that that you can't tell if the character is "wearing an armour" or if he just shat himself)? They say that you can judge the quality of a programming language by a users. So, let's compare C's numerous luminaries (Linus Torvalds, Dennis Ritchie, Richard Stallman) with QB's motley array of seriously disturbed criminals (Jocke the Beast. 'Nuff said - thanks to QB, babies the world over cannot sleep safely at night, proving that NOBODY IS YET THINKING OF THE CHILDREN. Oh, and don't think YOU'RE any better (YES, YOU!!!!1) - I've seen your perverted fiddling with BC.EXE to try and get your multi-module interpretation of Massacre (with more guns, more senseless violence, more Mulroney, and synthesised screams of pain) to compile. HONESTLY!! DO YOU PEOPLE FEEL NO SHAME!!!). QB is the pleb of the programming world. And stinks almost as disgustingly bad. I can see it now: "QB, the extremely limited, slow and overall SHITTY alternative to other programming languages: 9 out of 10 insane serial killers can't tell the difference!". Uncivilised lowlives.
I can't believe some folks out there are
still suffering the intolerable SHIT that is QB. It must take some
bravery. Or extreme BRAIN-DEAD STUPIDITY, I forget which. It seems it
is too late for you, my friend. You have been FUCKED UP beyond all
recognition and foolishly insist that QB is the way to go for all of
one's programming needs. BLOODY HELL, I must say how IDIOTIC you sound.
You know, the average televangelist has an IQ that is MUCH, MUCH HIGHER
than that of a QB programmer. After all, I don't think they'd fall for
QB's BULLSHIT of compiles that DON'T EVEN WORK HALF THE TIME, a
piss-poor IDE that consumes more memory than an obese American consumes
triple-layer quarter-pounder grease burgers with extra lard and error
messages designed for "helo 1 need hlep 4 evry steep of porgramin"
types. Jesus, you QB users disgust me. Just piss off. Go on. The world
needs more QuickBasic as much as it needs more George W. Bush (i.e. the
world would be a better place if QB was just taken out and shot like
the lame bastard child of Bill Gates that it is), that's for sure.
GRAAAAAAAAHHHHHH! SJ SMASH!
KILLKILLKILLKILLKILLKILLKILL!!!!! DIEEEE MOTHERFUCKER! GAH! I USE MY
BABY LAUNCHER AGAINST YOU AND BURN YOU! YEAH! BURN YOU! AND THEN SMASH
YOU AND...UM...LIKE....KICK YOU! WHOAH!!!!! PH33R!
SJ Zero has escaped a mental institution before..
Frankie is walking away slowly. Smiling. And nodding.
Comment on this article in our Forum